First week of teaching

       Everything is all fine and in order, thanks for asking; I am keeping my folders organised and am beginning to amass evidence, in the form of reflection sheets, meeting notes, annotated booklets of information, lesson observations and lesson plans. This coming week we are starting our afterschool clubs; all teachers have to host an after school club- I think there’s about four after school every day. I chose to coach long distance running and I’m not sure how popular it will be. Obviously, typing it there, it doesn’t sound that popular, but I come from a school where the Cross Country Team was the only team worth joining, where you were cool if you were in the Cross Country Team, where your status transcended all year groups if you were in the Cross Country Team, where kids fought in the mud and the cold and the rain to qualify for the team, where we had to have qualification rounds to cut down on the amount of students in the team. The club at that school had 40 members. Forty, I write it in letters to emphasise that. Ten from each of the junior classes. It was a badge of honour. At this school, I’m thinking not so much but we’ll see. Other teachers are doing a range of very interesting clubs and I’m not sure doing laps of the field will hold much appeal. 

       The other teachers at the school are cool though; fun to be around. I’m starting to get that family environment atmosphere. I feel if you put a camera in our staff room you’d have enough footage for a successful, Bafta winning, TV show. Has anyone thought of that idea yet? I call it. Some of the things teachers say; it just boggles the mind that they can actually be lucid and comprehending human beings. And other people’s reactions are priceless too; so raw, such bare human awkwardness. For example, when one teacher keeps referring every conversation back to how brilliant they are and how they’ve singlehandedly turned every child in the school around: “After schools clubs? Well, you should just thank me that Eric now puts his trainers in his bag. Lunchtime routine? Before I had that class, they were all over the place. You have a really tidy class? That’s me. That’s all me. I drilled that into them last year”. Everyone else, the seemingly humble and attached members of society, just stare at their home-prepared sandwiches or quietly eat a single crisp, waiting for the conversation to die. Yo, shut up about yourself. Or perhaps when a trainee asks a senior member of staff how often it’s appropriate to interrupt the main teacher during the flow of the lesson because they don’t think they’re doing it enough. And said senior member of staff examines his coffee and tries to diplomatically say “never”, whilst everyone else studies the soles of their shoes. Or perhaps the teacher who has to tactfully tell a TA that the display in the ICT room isn’t quite done yet because at the moment it’s just comprised of the silhouette of a dismembered head, floating on a piece of string and would it be possible to have some time spent on it, and the TA’s face is a mask of barely concealed offence. It makes me laugh so much. It is like watching an episode of The Office.

I nearly forgot to talk about the actual teaching. How silly of me. The actual teaching seemed a doddle at the start, compared to all the paperwork and folders that is; stand up in front of some kids, speak a bit, done. Actually though, it’s not that easy, because when you’re teaching, you have to ensure you tick off each criteria box and fulfil all requirements. For example, I did a lesson, it was great, made sure the kids got involved, asked questions, picked on kids for answers, had a fun game for everyone, kids loved it, yeahhhh. However, whilst I did tick the ‘Outstanding’ and ‘Good’ standards for some aspects, I also got a tick in the ‘Improvement Required’ box because I hadn’t encouraged the kids enough during a sixteen second clip off You Tube, focussing on a singing mouse. So I got an Outstanding nod for getting the kids involved, but also an Improvement Required nod for not encouraging them enough. So now I’m just confused as to what I'm doing.

Problems I have come across so far in teaching:

1) What do I do with my hands? If I’m waiting at a bus stop, I fold my arms, but that’s not a good stance to take whilst teaching. Do I gesture randomly like I’m struggling to carry an invisible bowl full of water? Do I hold them behind my back and look like a prick? Or maybe, just have them hanging limply by my side, like useless ribbons tied to my shoulders?

2) In the quick fire magic maths segment, trying to answer the questions as quickly as the children. “Is the answer 56, teacher?” “Two seconds… hold on. Yes. Yes, no, wait, no. Close. But not 56. Actually, who else got 56? No one? Ok, good. No. It’s no 56.” This doesn’t actually apply only to maths, but whenever a child asks a question or gets stuck in a rut and the answer doesn’t immediately leap out at me and I’m left, searching my brain for a response.

3) Becoming too self aware whilst I’m at the front. What does my face look like? What does my voice sound like? How am I standing? What am I saying? What are the words coming out of my mouth? Is it helping the children learn or am I just aimlessly waffling? Am I being direct and precise enough with my instruction? Gggaaaaahh.

4) Why are the others trainees delivering more lessons than me? I only do these three segments, why do they have an extra couple? Is it because I’m no good? Is it because they’re too good? Is it because I’m too good? Is it because they’re not good enough?